Written by Allina Yang
Photo taken by Alina Yang
“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” asked Alice.
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.
“I don’t much care where–” said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.
- Lewis Carroll
Depression.
What does that word invoke in you?
Many describe it as dark, chilling, lonely, cold, cloudy. Others speak of it as abnormal, realistic, numb, escape, emotive. The pharmacists elaborate on medication. The counsellors say ACT.
So what is it really? And more importantly, how do we stay away from it, or can’t we?
There is still a social taboo surrounding depression and many myths which are brought up again and again in the media and daily life. Think of the human mind as resembling the weather. Just as there are days ‘overcast and cloudy’ so too will there be days ‘clear and sunny’. Sometimes, there will be days ‘with a chance of a shower’ or it may just be that ‘a hailstorm is approaching’.
Firstly, let’s get one thing clear: feeling sad and down at times is a normal and essential part of the human experience. Returning to our weather metaphor, the crops cannot grow and there can be no harvest without rain.
However, depression permeates in people when they feel that the rain will never go away or they may refuse to accept it. Constantly comparing and judging themselves is also common, with depressed people constantly questioning ‘Why?’ Why are other people always so happy? Why are their lives perfect? Shouldn’t I be like that too? What’s wrong with me?
There is nothing wrong with you. Did you know that 1 in 5 people will experience depression at some period in their lives? Did you know that women are 5% more likely than men to confront it? Can we really call depression abnormal if we are currently undergoing this epidemic of suffering?
The sooner you accept your feelings, the sooner you can get back on track. Think of depression as a detour in your journey. Or as a barricade in the form of a hairy monster blocking your way. Depressed people refuse to accept the barrier. They may even run away from it, back to the past where they ruminate, regret and relive their past. These actions don’t produce much effect.
Sometimes you just have to carry the hairy monster along with you as you continue on your journey, dragging behind you some negative feelings. The most important thing is that you continue in the direction you had wanted to take. Eventually, after much trial and error, that emotional baggage will wear away and you won’t take much notice of it as you continue with your life.
Some people advocate for many reasons (business, personal, monetary) that medication is the best treatment for depression. In fact, they may even refer to it as a biological illness. “You just have it,” they say, “and it’s not your fault. You can’t do anything about it.”
This brings us to our second point: laughter is the best medicine. Don’t treat depression as a light matter, but taking the latest tablets and pills and just sitting back and expecting them to cure you instantly will not work. It may produce results in the short term but the truth is that depression does not occur in a vacuum.
Depression is a culmination of various life events and the way that you have dealt with them. It is a warning sign your body has given you to let you know that something is not right with your life. Perhaps you took the wrong turn in the road. Now that you know not everything is functioning efficiently, you can take steps to correct it.
You don’t just ‘have’ depression. There is something you can do about it. It is not a genetic thing. It is a result of your reactions to situations. The fact that depression does not happen in a vacuum brings us to a critical point. Antidepressants cannot make lifestyle changes for you. Only you can. When you begin to do so and change the way you think, you will find that change can occur very rapidly.
You may think that depression is inevitable in a stressful environment. Stress does contribute to increasing levels of depression in our society, but the link between stress and depression is not a cause and effect relationship. You need to find effective and healthy ways of dealing with stress. It may be easier said than done but practise making small changes that will eventually lead to big lifestyle turning points.
Instead of turning to food, caffeine or sugar, why not take a walk, read a book or even just reach out to your family and friends. Remember, they want to help as much as they can.
If we go back to our weather metaphor, think of your mind as the sky. Clouds pass and weather changes occur, but in the backdrop there is always the blue sky. Now when a negative thought passes your mind, pick it up and place it on a cloud. Now lay back and watch that cloud slowly drift above you. It may not go away but it’s not a part of you either. You are now just watching it, viewing the issue from an objective rather than subjective perspective. Whenever you experience a thought, just put it on a cloud and visualise your mind as the blue sky dotted with clouds.
Only remember, clouds are inevitable.
Once you know a little more about depression, the third thing to remember is: Ready? Steady? Action! Just get out there and do things. The more inactive you are, the lower you will feel. Get some exercise in your life, even if it’s only a little bit. Do those things you’ve always wanted to do.
Depressed people usually turn their backs to the music but it’s time to face it. Once you deal with your problems as they arise, rather than ignoring or bottling them up, you will start to feel clearer and more in control of your life.
Clarify your goals. What are your values? What do you want from your life? If you don’t know yet, don’t worry. Many young people don’t actually know. Even Michelle Obama admits that at the grand old age of 45, she still does not know “what I want to do when I grow up”! The only thing I can tell you, from experience, is exactly that: experience. The best way of finding out who you are is to do different things and do all those things that you had always wanted to do but may have felt too scared to.
Alice asked for directions at the beginning of this article, but she found out that no one except her self could tell her that. As the cat informed her, you need to clarify your values and then no matter what the obstacle, come rain, hail or shine, the blue sky will persist in your mind and you will continue to move in the same direction.
Your values might tell you that you want to reach the horizon or to keep going east. The mountains, rivers and forests are goals you want to reach. But no matter what, you will always keep going in the same direction – that way!
Hi Allina
That was a sweet photo! I love it.
I also like the analogous use of Alice in Wonderland.